■英語DEエッセイ コンテスト　結果発表■

*1st place * ■ 1位: 賞金5万円 ■ Mr.Kazuhei Tokieda （NOVA岡山駅前校） ■ 優勝作品 （添削後） 　 Not so long ago, I met a dancer under the cherry trees. It was she who taught me that I was shy for some reason and tended to withdraw into my own world from the outside world. It was she who taught me that I was poor at self-assertion and knew less than now about how to acquaint myself with other people and make friends as well as ways of self-expression such as laughing and crying. When I look back, I think that I owe what I am as an honest person somehow or other to her. Her brightness and activity, which was like vigor itself, was very clear to me then, and everything about the world that she taught me was dazzling. 　 ■ 添削者からのコメント 　 The author writes with a wonderful, mysterious style. The English here is compact and full of interesting, well-expressed descriptions of the writer's inner feelings. The opening part, "I met a dancer under the cherry trees," sounds almost like the writing of a professional author. This essay really stood out! 謎めくような素晴らしいスタイルで書かれたエッセイです。簡潔な英語で書かれていますが、著者の感情が興味深く、表現力豊かに描かれています。特に、書き出しの「I met a dancer under the cherry trees」は、プロのライター顔負けといえます。抜きん出た作品です！

*2nd place * ■ 2位: 賞金1万円 ■ Mr.Mamoru Nishiyama （NOVA東京高田馬場駅前校） ■ 添削者からのコメント 　 The writer of this piece has excellent powers of expression. The detailed description of the temple in the setting sunlight is fantastic; it creates a strong mental image of the situation and reflects the author's melancholy feeling nicely. 表現力がたいへん優れています。夕焼けのお寺の細かい描写が素晴らしく、これがその状況の力強い心象を創りだし、著者の寂しい気持ちをうまく映し出しています。

*3rd place * ■ 3位: うさぎぬいぐるみ贈呈 ■ Ms.Matsui （NOVA北九州小倉駅前校） ■ 添削者からのコメント 　 This author proves that it's not necessary to use very advanced English to write well. The sights, sounds, smells, color and energy of the festival are communicated clearly, and reading the essay creates a vivid picture in the reader's mind. 良い文章を書くには必ずしも難しい英語を使う必要はないという見本です。祭りの光景や音、臭い、色、エネルギーがわかりやすく書かれており、読むと生き生きとした情景が浮かんできます。

*1st place * ■ 1位: NOVA30ポイント贈呈 ■ Ms.Tomoko Aino （NOVA神戸板宿校） ■ 優勝作品 （添削後） 　 Four years ago, I went on a trip with my mother and sister. My 82-year-old mother is energetic and really likes going sightseeing, but she can't walk a long way. We took a taxi many times in Las Vegas. One of the drivers we met there was really impressive. As soon as we got in the taxi, the young African American started talking in a friendly way. "Where are you from?" he asked. I answered, "Japan." "Teach me some Japanese words," he said cheerfully. When I replied "OK," my sister whispered to me. "My husband said that foreigners generally like the Japanese word kappamaki." As I told him the sushi term, he laughed and loudly repeated "kappamaki!" over 15 times. "How do you say 'I love you' in Japanese?" he asked, so I told him "Aishiteru." After repeating it a lot, he inquired. "How many times does your husband say it a day?" "Hmm, I haven't heard these words for years." "Why not? I say I love you every day to my girlfriend." "In Japan, deep love doesn't need words! We understand each other without speaking," I answered proudly. "Wow, great!" he said and smiled with admiration. 　 ■ 添削者からのコメント 　 The author tells the story of the exchange with enthusiasm and color, and the style of communication is excellent; within just 200 words, the writer describes the situation, the conversation with the taxi driver and his personality, and outlines how the exchange acted as a reminder of one of Japan's good points. A very nice piece of writing. 人とのやりとりが情熱的かつ表現力豊かに描かれているだけでなく、表現スタイルも素晴らしいものがあります。わずか200単語で、場面の状況、タクシー運転手との会話、その人柄が表現され、このやりとりを通じて、著者がいかに日本の良いところを実感したかがまとめられています。きわめて優れたエッセイです。

*2nd place * ■ 2位: NOVA10ポイント贈呈 ■ Ms.Kiyoko Tokuyama （NOVA東京北千住校） ■ 添削者からのコメント 　 This is a great account of how studying changed the author's character and outlook on life. The text flows well and is full of energy, and the influence of the writer's encounter with English is explained well. 学習することがいかに著者の性格や人生観を変えたかを綴った優れたエッセイです。文章の流れが良く、エネルギーにも溢れ、英語との出会いが著者に与えた影響がうまく説明されています。

*3rd place * ■ 3位: うさぎぬいぐるみ贈呈 ■ A.M. （NOVA名古屋栄校） ■ 添削者からのコメント 　 The writer tells the story of the Chinese lady's influence very well here. There's lots of good detail in the text, and the mutual influence of the author and the lady is communicated clearly in a nice style of English. 中国人女性から受けた影響が、とても上手に書かれています。細かい表現も優れているほか、著者とこの女性との相互影響が優れた英語スタイルでわかりやすく描かれています。